Are you tired of hearing “I’ll call you later.” or “Let me get your number.” from the guys you date? Does it feel like they say these things as an excuse to leave rather than as a genuine offer? Do you wonder what’s going on with these guys who seem confused about whether they want to see you again? Are you concerned that something about who you are is keeping them from calling? We all want to be liked and loved by someone, so why would anyone pretend not to care about seeing someone again? Why would a guy lie about calling when he knows that the only reason for saying that is because he doesn’t want to end the conversation? As hurtful and infuriating as it is, the answer is simple: Guys say these things because they don’t think they stand a chance with you. If this sounds like something your last few dates have said, then read on.
Why Do Guys Say They Will Call And Don’t?
Guys say they will call and don’t because they’re either not interested or they didn’t have a good time. A guy might not be interested because he doesn’t feel a strong connection with you or he’s just not that into you. Or maybe the date didn’t go as well as he had hoped and he’s unsure if he wants to see you again. In any case, it probably wasn’t personal and he probably wasn’t trying to be deliberately mean or confusing. He just changed his mind for one reason or another.
Why do Guys feel The Need To Lie?
1. They’re Not Interested
A guy might not be interested in you because he’s too busy or doesn’t have time to be in a relationship. Or maybe he’s just not interested. Maybe you’re just not that interesting, attractive, or fun enough to hold his interest. Whatever the reason, if he says “I’ll call you later” or “Let me get your number” it probably means that he doesn’t think much of what could happen next between the two of you.
2. They Just Don’t Care
Guys say they will call and don’t because they don’t want to put any effort into getting to know you better. They don’t want to invest any time in learning about your personality, interests, or life story. And they don’t want to become involved with someone who may turn out to be bad news (someone who is needy, clingy, difficult). If a guy doesn’t want something meaningful and deep, then he might as well just say “I’m not interested” or “I’m not going to call you.”
3. They’re Not Sure They Want To See You Again
Guys say they will call and don’t because they’re not sure if they want to see you again. Maybe the date wasn’t that great and he’s not sure if you’re worth a second date. Or maybe he’s just not so interested in seeing you again, but he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying that. Whatever the reason, if a guy doesn’t want to see you again, he’s probably not going to call you. So, don’t call him and ask why he didn’t call.
4. They’re Not Interested In You
Guys say they will call and don’t because they are not interested in you. Maybe you’re just not that interesting or attractive enough for him to want to get to know you better. Or maybe he’s just not that into you. If a guy is interested in you but says he won’t call, then chances are good that there is something about your personality or appearance that he doesn’t like or find appealing. And chances are even better that if he were interested in you, then he would have called by now!
5. They Are Trying To Be Mean
A guy might say “I’ll call you later” or “Let me get your number” as an insult or an attempt at sarcasm. Or he might say it to be mean. Maybe he’s just trying to be funny or sarcastic, but chances are good that if he were interested in you, then he would have called by now.
6. They’re Following Through On Their Promise
Guys say they will call and don’t because they are following through on their promise to call or get your number. And usually, they do exactly what they said they would do. Maybe he really did want to call you and get your number, but the phone rang and the date was canceled or the person on the other end of the line said “I can’t talk right now” before he could call. Whatever the reason, if a guy says he will call you and doesn’t, it’s probably because there was something that came up that prevented him from calling you back as promised.
7. They’re Afraid Of Rejection
If a guy says “I’ll call you later” or “Let me get your number” and you think he means it literally, then chances are good that he really will call you. But if a guy says “I’ll call you later” or “Let me get your number” and you think he’s just trying to be funny or sarcastic, then the chances are even better that he won’t call.
8. They’re Afraid Of Rejecting You
This is kind of a combination of the previous two reasons. A guy might say “I’ll call you later” or “Let me get your number” and mean it literally, but if he’s afraid of being rejected and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you that, then the chances are good that he won’t call.
5 Reasons Guys Say They’ll Call And Do
He’s Just Not That Into You
You might be a great catch, but if he’s not interested in dating you, he’ll find an excuse to get out of your way. This is usually the result of a lack of chemistry – you just don’t mesh well together. The spark was missing, so he decided to just let things go. If he hasn’t called you after a couple of dates and you’re not sure why this is a good bet. He may feel guilty and want to avoid you because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Your best bet is to cut him out completely. Don’t leave him any room to come back and make excuses.
He’s Still Hooked On His Ex
When an ex comes back into the picture, they often leave a bitter taste in their former partner’s mouth. We’re humans, we make mistakes and it’s possible that you could get caught in the crossfire. If you dated him a couple of months after his breakup, it’s possible that he’s still hung up on the past. He may have been so deep in his own head that he wasn’t ready to date anyone – let alone be exclusive with one person. When this happens, he could be trying to get back together with his ex. If he’s not ready to date anyone emotionally (or doesn’t want to date anyone), he won’t call. He doesn’t want to lead you on or string you along. This is the kind of situation where you should cut your losses and forget about him. You may want to ask yourself if he’s really the right person for you if he’s still hung up on the past.
You Were Only A Temporary Fix
We all have our bad days, but some people use dating as a way to escape their problems. If he had one foot out the door the entire time you were together, he may have just been using you for a temporary fix. He may not have been able to deal with the pressures of his life – like work or financial struggles. It could be anything. When he needed an escape, you were there. But once he got what he needed, he was gone. It may make you feel like you were nothing more than a Band-Aid. But don’t beat yourself up over it. He clearly wasn’t ready to be with you or anyone else.
You Made It Clear That You Were Only Interested In Dating
This can happen during the first few dates if you’re too aggressive or if you lead him on and then change your mind. He may be ready to take a relationship to the next level, but you’re not. You might have a perfectly good reason for it, but he may not want to put himself out there again if he gets shot down. He may be waiting for you to say something, but if you don’t, he’ll assume the worst. If this happens, you may want to take some time to reflect on whether or not you’re ready to date.
Your Timing Isn’t Right
There are times when you just aren’t a good fit for one another. He may not be ready to get into a relationship. Maybe you’re going through a lot in your life and you’re not ready to be with someone else. Even though you may be vibing, your timing may not be right. You may want to stay and see where things go, or you may want to move on and find someone else who is ready to commit to you.
Conclusion
If you’ve been on a few dates with someone and they say any of these things, it’s probably best to let the conversation die. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, and they don’t deserve to be with someone who would settle for being just another option. If you’re wondering if someone is interested in seeing you again or if you should call someone you’ve gone on a few dates with, here are a few ways to tell if he likes you.
